Cassandra Frolick

my hearts been taken from a boy for 18 months.
falling asleep alone, for 18 months.
kissing pillows instead of his lips, for 18 months.
humming love songs, for 18 months.
falling for the same boy over, and over, and over.. for 18 months.

and i wouldn’t change it for the world.

im gonna blog because this after may is up, this will be my longest relationship with someone, besides my ex boyfriend Anthony.

We only lasted 18..
and im finally going to be able to go longer then that with someone im inlove with.

we’ve talked about moving in with eachother.
you want to be a music producer, you want me to be a stay at home mom.
you want children with me.
you want a pool in our house.
if we have a son, his middle name will be Michael.
if we have a girl, she will be your princess.
you want to take me to your favourite hawiian restaurant.
you make so many promises with me, im just hoping we can keep them.
i’m more scared then anything to stay in this relationship.
i’m scared your going to disappear again one day.
ive had a really hard time coping with things recently.
our lack of communication is scaring the fuck out of me, but we’ve always had problems with communicating.
but the way i see it, i’m putting my effort in.
i’m buying calling cards, im calling you whenever i think your not busy, even when you are.
i’m texting you non-stop even when you dont answer or dont have your phone.
i feel as if im losing hope in everything i thought was real.
i feel as if our love isnt as strong as it used to be.
i feel as if.. you aren’t as happy as i used to make you.
you make it seem like you do, but you’ve broken up with me 3 times.
and i’m scared for the 4th.
im scared that things are going to get drawn out, and your going to get bored of me and your going to leave.
your going to pack up your stuff and settle down with someone around you, instead of waiting for me.
i’m scared to fall asleep without knowing im waking up to another day closer i get to spend with you.
your the only reason why i wake up in the morning.
your the only reason im up at 12:31am writing this.. instead of sleeping.
there butterflies wont due, these sleepless nights wont work anymore.
i need to know that your going to be here.
you say you will be.
not that i don’t trust you, its past experiences that lead you to think this way.
me and you is what matters most.

” aw babe.. this feeling is mutual. you make me the happiest man hands down, ever. i just think i deserve you, and thats all i need. Fuck the world. ive got everything already cause ive got you. “

” Babygirl i am in love with you too. You just wait and see. Ill show you. God your last text was fuckin perfect. If you didnt have my heart already, that woulda did it.”

“Baby i love you. I apologize for my awkward sleeping schedule and i promise to make it up to you somehow. Talk to you soon beautiful.”

remember those texts? i do. off the top of my head. i could say them backwards.

we’ve promised we’d grow old together, & gave our hearts to one another.
we will take forever to kiss goodbye, & it’ will be hard on me when you leave, but i know you’ll always be back.
we’ve made the greatest memories that will never be forgotten.
we share a language that only we can understand.
you’ve made every fairytale, every dream, come true.

to be honest ive been sitting here for a good ten minutes staring at the rest of this screen crying.
i just want to fucking hold you.
i want you to get how much you mean to me.
fuck this scripted shit.
i fucking want you right here beside me right fucking now damien.
i want you to pick up my phone calls.
i want you to fucking sing to me sleep.
make me soup.
i want to kiss your forhead.
i want to kiss you period.
i want to SEE YOU.
i want to FEEL YOU.
i want to be happy again.
i want to show you what love is.
i want to scream at the top of my lungs and scream right now.
whatever, will bring you in my arms right now.
i wanna cry.
i want to fucking shout, and scream, and punch everything in my vision.
i am so upset with myself, i am so upset with everything.
i want to be rescued.
i want out of here, i want to be with you.
your the only thing in these past 18 months that has made me happy.
that has made me not fall of the face of the earth.
i need you.
i want you.
i have you..
come here.
please..
damien mitchell i am so fucking in love with you.
i hope you read this one day.


there will never be enough words, to describe how much i love you, & appreciate you. or to describe how perfect you are. So everyday, i’m going to prove to you, just how much i love you. Starting now, & from here on.. there’s no one else, i’d rather spend the rest of my life with. I LOVE YOU NOW, ALWAYS, FOREVER, & and whatever comes after that.

Here’s to having the world’s greatest man in my life.

xoxo

i am in love with you damienMCR.

i’m just gonna sit my ass on tumblr.
tumblr.
post pictures.
blog shit.
have a smoke.
all, until 1am.
then, i should go to bed.